Are you hiding behind a mask?

Photo courtesy of Bunches and Bits {Karina} (Creative Commons)

Happy Halloween everyone! What does your costume look like?

I have to admit that Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays, mostly because I’m not good at coming up with costume ideas. But I do find it interesting because so many people hide behind their masks. Have you noticed how many timid people dress up as a superhero and become bold and brave for the day?

Could there be benefits to wearing a mask, figuratively speaking?

When I managed a bookstore, we adopted the ideas of “Be our Guest” from Disney, and focused on creating a positive “guest experience” for each of our guests (customers). There were days when that meant putting on the “mask” of the great salesperson even when I was tired or overloaded.

My friend Matt McWilliams wrote a post this week about The Happiness-Success Paradox in which he suggests that if you “proactively choose happiness,” you will be on the road to success.

So at his challenge, I have tried to “choose happiness” this week, and basically put on a “mask” of cheerfulness. I admit I’ve had mixed results.

It’s been a difficult, frustrating week for me, but I am trying to remain upbeat. One thing I am more conscious of is stopping when I find myself sinking into negative thoughts or making a negative comment. Awareness is half the battle, right?

What I have discovered is that while I can’t claim that I’m gleeful this week, I am at least more outwardly focused, and that is leading to contentment.

I have smiled at people, even in the midst of a mental rant over something that just happened. They might be struggling with greater hardships than I can imagine, and it flips a switch for me to smile at someone else – kind of turns the focus away from me long enough to reset the glare or frown I had before. See, the mask has its advantages.

I’ve made a conscious effort to write encouraging comments for friends on Facebook or in email. I know how uplifting it is when people reach out to me, so I’m returning the favor when I can.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1.3-4 (NLT)

There seems to be such hardship and sadness this week – from Hurricane Sandy, to illness, to disappointments, to grief. I want to be at least a small comfort to others who are going through so much, instead of dwelling on me, whether that is through a smile, a kind word, or a note that I’m thinking of and praying for them. I guess the mask helps me as much as anyone else.

So I challenge you today. What mask will you put on?

 

We are not in control

Photo courtesy of Elsa Blaine (Creative Commons)

Listening to a rumbling thunderstorm this morning, I realize how little we control in life. This thought comes as I sit here missing the beauty and wonder of the storm, and instead am stressing over the fact that the rain might interfere with my run today.

I can be so dense that I have to hear a message on multiple fronts to get it, but what I’ve been hearing and reading in devotions, blogs, conversations, and sermons, is that I need to realize that God is God and I am not.

God is in control and has a plan. I need to quit thinking that I can do anything by myself, and lean on Him for my strength and guidance.

But that is so hard to do! And there are so many ways I defy His desire to lead me.

I am a planner, so I tend to plan my day and then get upset when things happen to derail me – but what God appointments am I missing?

I let myself get overwhelmed by busyness, and then end up hurrying through things I should be taking more time to read carefully or pay attention to. What messages am I not receiving?

I become so focused on my next task, that I often am not aware of those around me and don’t even see people passing me. What child of God am I overlooking?

So as I sit here knowing I don’t have it all figured out, I pray that God will quiet the voices in my head other than His, calm the urges to do it all myself, and ease my extreme distraction by all the “stuff to do.”

I want to walk with my Lord today and follow His lead. And accept that I can do nothing without Him.

How will you walk with God today?

 

Do you consider yourself a sower of seeds?

Photo courtesy of slgckgc (Creative Commons)

When I hear that expression “sower of seeds,” I think of a gardener, who grows beautiful flowers or has a prolific vegetable garden, or someone like a pastor, who plants seeds of God’s word within people each Sunday at church. I’m not sure I’d consider myself as a sower of seeds.

But after hearing the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8: 4-15) twice in the last few weeks, I’m beginning to change my thinking and also realize I need to pay attention.

In the parable, Jesus describes the farmer who spreads seeds on the path, the rocks, the thorns and the good soil. As he explains to his disciples what that means, he describes the types of people who hear the Word: for some it is quickly taken away (path); others hear it with joy but fall away quickly (rocks); still others accept the Word and it starts to take root but is choked by other cares and desires (thorns); and finally those within whom the Word sprouts and produces fruit.

Bill Hybels discussed that parable at the Global Leadership Summit, in broad terms of sowing seeds by developing programs within the church to attract more potential members. My own pastor, Chris Joiner, told the parable to the 6th graders in our Confirmation Class, in terms of their own faith journey. He told how we might be all 4 kinds of soil throughout the day, and if we produce fruit, then we have seeds within us to sow in others.

As I ponder these ideas more, I see many applications in my own life:
• In terms of my work at a nonprofit, encouraging our volunteers to see our clients where they are as they seek physical assistance, but also planting seeds of faith by praying with them and boosting their spirits.I also must be looking to recognize those God-appointments as they happen.
• In working with my 6th grade Covenant Partner in the Confirmation Class, guiding her and watering those seeds of faith through our journey to confirmation next year. I fully believe I will learn as much as she does.
• In my own faith journey, seeking instruction so that I am open to learning and sharing, whether that is through my quiet time in the mornings, formal worship on Sundays, or in conversation with others, online and in person throughout the week.
• With my writing, sharing openly my struggles and triumphs to hopefully encourage others and plant some seeds of hope.

We all have the potential to be the sower as well as the ground. I believe our humility allows us to be ready in those situations whether we are the seed or the soil. Keep your eyes open for opportunities!

How are you cultivating your heart and mind so you can produce more fruit?

 

Lessons from ironing

Photo courtesy bcmom (Creative Commons)

I have to admit I truly hate ironing. It’s probably my least favorite chore, and I tend to leave it for Sunday afternoons, when I pretty much have to iron to have clothes for the work week.

So today after church, I set up the ironing board and got to work, mumbling under my breath about how I hate ironing. Then it occurred to me that if I thought about it, there might be a leadership lesson in the activity – something like Chris LoCurto finding leadership lessons at restaurants or on the racetrack.

Delegation? Not really, no one to delegate it to. Time management? I do tend to put it off until there are no clothes left to wear. But nothing seemed quite right.

I just let my mind wander.

Then I realized the key. Contemplative time.

Once I quit telling myself how much I hated what I was doing, it was a great opportunity to let my mind unhook. No agenda, no distractions, no plan. Just me and my thoughts.

I am not often still. I am amazed at people who meditate. I always have lists, deadlines, projects, email, social media, reading, writing. There’s always something to work on, and when I’m not working, I’m figuring out what is next on the list to be accomplished. My mind is always active and ideas tend to get muddled.

But today was different. It was quiet, with no TV, music, or electronics so my mind could drift. I thought about this blog. I mulled over the sermon from church this morning. For once in a long time, the “noise” of obligations quieted.

It was refreshing.

Yes, you read that right – ironing was refreshing. Amazing.

I realize I need to seek more opportunities like that to allow for contemplation. Maybe while doing the dishes. While running, certainly.

And I need to be proactive about it – seek time after church, or after a leadership conference, or a powerful podcast to allow time to process what I’ve heard.

So my question for you is this, do you allow yourself contemplative time? If so, how much more effective does it make you as a leader, spouse, parent, or co-worker?

 

Your Smiling Face

Smile. Such a simple, but powerful expression.

A smile can change the whole dynamic in a situation.

We have a new team member at work, and she has a beautiful smile that she uses liberally. But what started me thinking about this was that she commented on my smile. I realized I’ve not been smiling enough lately.

Dave Ramsey challenges his receptionist (or Director of First Impressions) to answer all incoming calls with a smile, “Because a smile changes the shape of your vocal cords and your face. A customer can hear a smile on the phone.”

How powerful is that? You can “hear” a smile without even seeing the person?

And you’ve heard that if you smile even when you feel down, it can brighten your mood. I can attest to the validity of this one. Even if you are having really bad day, when someone asks how you are, force yourself to smile and say, “Great!”  I guarantee it will improve your attitude.

But it’s easy to forget to smile.

When we are overwhelmed or in a bad situation, we tend to focus inward. How much better would you feel if you made the small effort to focus outward a moment and bring a smile to someone else’s face?

I bet you would end up with a smile yourself. And then your situation might not seem so bad, after all.

How can we be intentional in helping someone smile, whether you are with them in person or not?

• Send a quick email to say you are thinking of them
• Give a compliment on their appearance
• Thank them for something they did
• Hug your friend who is going through a hard time, and say, “I’m praying for you.”
• Make it a point to smile at anyone you come within a few feet of today
• Smile at the person in the car beside you in traffic

How have you shared a smile today?

 

Change is on the way

Nashville set an all-time record with a high of 109 degrees yesterday, so I set out to run this morning a little earlier than usual, hoping to beat the heat.

One drawback about being out that early, I discovered, is that no one has yet cleared the spider webs from the path. I was jogging happily along one stretch of sidewalk with bushes on both sides, and ran through a MASSIVE spider web – face level. Whoa, that was a surprise.

So after that, I changed my tactic and waved my arm in front of my face where bushes were on both sides of the sidewalk to prevent another impact. (I’m sure anyone going by wondered what I was doing, but who really cares, right?)

That got me to thinking about change. So many people avoid or fight change. Whether at work, church, or home, we like the comfort of things the way they are. But honestly, in our world today, everything is changing so fast, we do ourselves a disservice by avoiding it.

What if we learned to embrace change?

Change doesn’t always have to be scary or bad. Just the simple change of waving my arm, while looking silly, did prevent me from a repeat face collision with another spider’s overnight work.

I bet that if we developed a new attitude toward change, and encouraged those around us as well, we could make improvements in our lives on all levels.

Just one small adjustment can make a difference that will lead to additional incremental advances. And before you know it, you may have developed a new habit.

• Organization: take a few moments to put things where they belong the first time – hang up your clothes when you change, put the mail in your inbox instead of the kitchen counter, etc.
• Fitness: get up a few minutes early one or two days a week and walk – then add a day, then add a little distance.
• Healthy eating: replace your snack of a candy bar with an apple or handful of nuts, or grab a bottle of water instead of that soda. What about having one vegetarian meal a week instead of meat every night?
• Spiritual: Before you check your email in the morning, read a chapter in the Bible and spend a few minutes in prayer.
• Family: Tell your spouse, child, or other close family member that you love them, out of the blue, when they aren’t expecting it.
• Friends: Decide to send one or two emails a week to a friend just to say you’re thinking of them.

Change doesn’t always have to be big and traumatic, but it can lead to huge improvements if we learn to embrace it.

What little change will you make today? What do you think it might lead to?

 

Do you fill or empty?

I stopped for a latte recently and was blown away by the experience. I’ve not always received great service at this particular coffee shop, so I guess my expectations weren’t very high.

But as I came to the speaker at the drive thru, this deep, sexy voice said “Good morning” in a way that made me instantly feel special. I know it was a simple interaction – place order, pay, receive latte, drive away. But these folks really did it quickly and in such a way that I left feeling better about my day and about myself. What a difference a positive interaction can make.

In contrast, I had an interaction with a co-worker last week that made me feel icky and defensive. She was fussing to me about someone else, but  was speaking so loudly and leaning toward me that I felt like a blast of hot wind had just hit me in the face – I was leaning back, and my hair was now flowing straight up and back like the trees in a hurricane force wind.

I couldn’t get away quickly enough. Her negativity drains my bucket.

In his book, How Full is Your Bucket?, Tom Rath asks, “How did you feel after your last interaction with another person? Did that person — your spouse, best friend, coworker, or even a stranger — ‘fill your bucket’ by making you feel more positive? Or did that person ‘dip from your bucket,’ leaving you more negative than before?”

I want to be a bucket-filler for people. Like the folks at the coffee shop. Or one of our volunteers who has endured great sadness and death in his family, yet I have never seen him without a smile on his face and a kind word – he has such a great attitude. He makes me feel like speaking to me is the most important thing he will do all day. I look forward to interacting with him, even for just a few minutes. He fills my bucket to the brim and overflowing!

That’s how I want to make people feel.

I want to present a more positive attitude, a smile, sincere caring. I want to encourage the people I meet and present a calm, friendly, loving face to everyone. No matter the kind of day I’m having, I want to focus on the good and the positive and not the negative.

I want to let positivity grow in me!

I will try not to concern myself with things I do not or cannot control – all I can control is my own reaction, and I need to make it positive. Every. Single. Time.

How will you be a bucket-filler today?