Are you on a direct path or are you a hopeless wanderer? Ready, aim (part 2)

I find that when I am not moving steadily toward a goal, but simply following the next new shiny thing, I just end up wandering in circles. Have you experienced this as well?

In part 1 of this 2-part series called “Ready, Aim,” we looked at some of the reasons you may be floundering, and in part 2 we’re going to explore ways to advance on your way to success.

Most of us have too much going on in our lives to be able to wholeheartedly pursue a big goal, but there are ways we can break that goal into smaller parts, and work toward it a little bit at a time. In fact, I have found it more useful to target smaller goals in various areas of my life so that I’m more rounded and stable.

In his book and training called EntreLeadership, author and radio personality Dave Ramsey details the idea of setting goals in different areas of your life or the “wheel of life” as outlined by Zig Ziglar. Ramsey says, “for our lives to be successful as a whole we must address each area. The spokes of goal setting are: career, financial, spiritual, physical, intellectual, family, social.”

He goes on to say that if you only focus on some of these areas, you will have, in essence, “a flat tire.”

One of the things I struggle with the most is balancing the areas of my life, so I end up spending more time on career, physical and intellectual pursuits and neglect other areas, especially family and social. Because my “big 3” areas come easier for me, that’s what I focus on and end up procrastinating on planning for the other areas. I’m learning to set more practical goals in each of the areas, with steps that are reasonable and measurable so I can see my progress.

Once you have SET your goals, the next step is to start making progress toward accomplishing them. I have found a secret though – break those goals down into manageable bites. The following steps can help make the process less overwhelming:

• Focus on one or two areas each week: don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to accomplish all of your goals at once. Take it slow and focus on one or two “spokes” at a time. Maybe this week you aim to work on physical (maybe walking for 30 minutes two days) and social (meet a friend for coffee). Ease into it.
• Determine specific next actions: if you are like me, seeing something like “Sally’s birthday” on my to-do list makes my eyes glaze over and I skip it altogether. But if I decide what the next action is to move it forward, I am more likely to make time to work on it. For instance, the first step might be to “talk to Sally to pick a date for the celebration.” That’s probably a phone call, so that’s something concrete I can work into my week. Be sure to determine next actions for each of your goals.
• Use your calendar: I don’t know about you, but I am much more likely to pay attention to items on my calendar than things on a lengthy to-do list. So make it simple and add the action step to your calendar. Sculpt time to accomplish that next step. One of my goals is to read and study one business book each month. I have limited time to read, often at night before bed, when I tend to fall asleep in the book and then have to reread the next night. Not very conducive to great study.  So I have started blocking out a couple of hours on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon to read with a reminder on my computer, so that my time does not slip away. That chime of the reminder helps me stay on track.
• Start some good habits: Try setting your alarm 15 or 30 minutes earlier in the morning, and use that extra time to exercise, or pray and study the Bible, if those are some of your goals. If you are consistent, then before long, you won’t even be tempted to hit snooze because you will find yourself feeling better because you see progress.
• Celebrate progress: When you do make significant progress on your goals, take a few minutes to rejoice in that. Share your success with your accountability partner or family. Don’t get lazy though – be happy that you are moving in the right direction and get back to work on that next step!

By taking small steps in the right direction, you will start making visible progress on a particular goal, which will spur progress on other goals. Just think what you can accomplish as you stop wandering and head on a straight path!

What small steps can you take now to get you back on track for your larger goals?

 

What is stopping you from achieving your goals? Ready, aim (part 1)

I find it scary how fast time seems to go by these days. It seems like it was just the beginning of summer, and here it is almost Thanksgiving!

With the end of the year so close, it’s time to evaluate your progress on your goals for this year, and start thinking about goals and dreams for next year. In part 1 of this 2-part series called “Ready, Aim,” we will look at some of the reasons you may be floundering, and in part 2 on Friday, explore ways to advance on your way to success.

Some of the biggest roadblocks to achieving goals include:

• Unreasonable goals. I frequently have grand ideas of what I want to accomplish, but then the nitty gritty of every day keeps me sidetracked, and suddenly that goal seems unreachable.
• Uncertainty about how to proceed. Some goals can be intimidating, and you find yourself stumbling over what the next step should be. That can lead to procrastination because it seems too difficult to figure out or deal with.
• Someone else’s goals. Be honest here, how many times have you set goals because family or friends encouraged (ok, pushed) you to – but you weren’t 100% sold on the idea yourself? It is hard to buy into a goal about which you are not passionate.
• Vague results. Goals must be clear and measurable. You’ve heard this before – don’t set a goal like “lose weight” – because how will you ever know when you have succeeded? You will be more likely to achieve success if you set a reasonable goal like “lose 10 pounds by X date.”

For me, goals help me manage my life, so my life doesn’t manage me. When I set sensible goals with realistic results, the outcome is much more satisfying.

The problem comes when I haven’t set proper goals to begin with. Then they become just another obligation to avoid, and it ends up being detrimental to my peace and contentment.

To counteract these problems, here are some down-to-earth tactics that will help you meet your goals:

• Set reasonable goals. It’s ok to dream about owning the company, but if you are just getting started, it’s probably not a realistic goal for next year. Start with achievable goals that move you in the right direction. You might strive to “take # classes to build leadership skills” or “train X team members to take on X responsibility.”
• Break the goal down into steps. You aren’t going to reach your goal in one leap, so don’t set yourself up for failure by stating it that way. Spend some time planning what action steps it will take to reach that lofty goal. If your goal is to run a 10K in 6 months, but you haven’t exercised in years, the first step would be to walk a mile 3 times a week. Then plan to walk a longer distance more often. Then add running.
• Set goals for you. Decide what you need to accomplish for you and set goals around that. Don’t be influenced by others here – you have to be passionate about what you want to achieve or you will not make progress.
• State what “wildly successful” looks like. How will you know when you’ve reached your goal if you haven’t stated what finished is?
• Share your goal. That’s right – don’t keep it to yourself. State it out loud to someone you trust and who can encourage you. Even better, challenge a friend or family member to help hold you accountable by asking about your progress periodically.

Goals are worthless if you aren’t making progress toward them, and determining the barriers is only part of the challenge. In part 2 of the series “Ready, Aim,” we will explore the process of setting up better goals to help you reach your dreams.

What excuses are keeping you from accomplishing your goals?

 

Learning lessons from my car

Photo courtesy of Sean MacEntee (Creative Commons)

Yesterday morning I was driving to church and looked down to check my speed. The speedometer said 61 – but it felt like I was going my normal 40 along that street. My heart stopped – I took my foot off the gas.

It made me feel totally disoriented, and I almost pulled over because I didn’t even know how fast to go anymore. Then I finally drew myself together enough to realize that the speedometer was set for kilometers rather than miles per hour – so I had evidently pushed something I shouldn’t have when I set the clock back for daylight savings time.

Crisis averted. Deep breath.

What I realized is that I didn’t react very well when I was bewildered. Instead of thinking clearly, I froze up. That was not something I was prepared to encounter, and I did not have a game plan. That was not a comfortable place to be.

This experience made me wonder is how I would react in a true crisis situation. Would I freeze like I did, or would I be able to calmly discover a solution?

One of my strengths is strategic planning and thinking through the steps or solutions to a problem to arrive at a successful solution. But my strength would be my downfall in a crisis because I need time to deliberate and plan that solution.

How will I learn from this experience? By deliberately putting myself in situations where I am not completely in control so I can get better at reacting more spontaneously. Not that I will seek out a crisis to practice on, but I will more attune to situations that are not in my comfort zone.

Believe it or not, one way I do that is by commenting on other blogs and entering online conversations around writing and leadership. It helps me improve my thinking on my feet (or at my fingertips), and causes me to react quickly and not take a lot of time to formulate a response. I need more of that practice in other venues as well.

How have you learned from situations when you reacted inappropriately?

 

How do you handle those challenging days?

Every have one of those days (or weeks) when you just cannot stay focused to accomplish anything? And it’s a day (or week) when you NEED to get a lot done? How do you handle that?

I have to rely on discipline. Through the last few months, I’m learning the value of putting habits in place and sticking with them. Sure, you cut yourself a little slack every once in a while, but there is great value in creating solid habits to move you toward your goals, even when you can’t seem to focus on them.

For me, that means getting up early and setting aside time to write and run, every day. Even weekends. Even the days when I really want to stay in bed. Even the days when it’s cold outside, and I just want to curl up and hide.

But the benefit of that discipline is that later in the day, I can be satisfied with the knowledge that yes, I exercised both my mind and my body. I did get my blog written (or at least drafted) and I did run my miles.

And in the long run, having accomplished both of those things makes me happier and more effective in other areas of my life. (And less crabby as a general rule.)

The beauty of discipline is that when those habits are in place, there’s less consideration of IF I will do this. Autopilot kicks in and I just find myself DOING it. It’s time to write, so I sit down and write. Time to go run, and I just head out. No thinking about it, just do it. And once I go ahead and get started, I find that it is usually the best part of my day.

The rewards are great. The rest of my day tends to be more effective because I’ve gotten started on the right track.

What disciplines do you have in place and how are you rewarded by them?

 

Making the most of time

I know I am not the only one who has way too much to do right now, so let me ask, how do you get it all done?

I’ll be honest, I have been overwhelmed for several months now – with commitments, meetings, projects – the list goes on and on. My days keep my head spinning, and when I get home, I’m tired, my brain feels like mush, and I stare at the computer for a little while, then give up and go to bed.

As I have struggled to figure out how to eke more productivity out of my day, I’ve realized being more intentional in my planning is the way to make progress.

A little disclaimer here – this list is mostly for me, as a reminder of what I need to be doing, and I hope that it benefits you as well! So here are some of the things I’m doing to be more productive:

• Take 15 minutes at the end of your day to plan the next day – ok, this one is tough. By the end of the day, I’m just ready to go home! But what I have discovered is that taking the time to jot down the few most important things I need to tackle the next day – and even leave a stack with notes to myself on my desk – helps me hit the ground running in the morning.
• Schedule an appointment on your calendar to get projects done – my days tend to be so full of interruptions and “putting out of fires,” that sometimes the only way for me to get some projects done is to block out a few hours on my calendar. It helps me to be intentional with my focus during that time, and I’m much more likely to actually hunker down and do the work, instead of continually pushing it to “later.” I’ve been trying to get changes made on a training handbook, and it took the appointment WITH the reminder for me to spend the time to finish it. Feels great to have it out for review now.
• Don’t seek perfection – sometimes you have to be willing for something to be “good enough” so you can move on to more critical things. And usually, “good enough” is just fine!
• What can you delegate? This one is hard for me, but there are times that I am not the best person to do things, or the only person who can do things. I need to be more willing to delegate some tasks so that I can focus on what only I can do.
• What can you let go of? Some of the things on my plate may need to be moved to a “someday/maybe” category, or let go of completely.
• Don’t put off – dreading may be worse than doing. How much mental energy are you spending worrying about that task that then grows in your mind to an all-day thing? Just go ahead and get it done – I bet it won’t be NEARLY as bad as your mind built it up to be. Then you free up that mental energy to focus on more worthwhile things!
• Batch jobs – this is another one that’s hard for me. Some days I flit from task to task – email, small change on the website, data entry for a bit, then on to something else. I’m much more effective if I group like things together – all the changes on the website at once, respond to email all at once instead of throughout the day, etc.

Taking time to plan may be your most effective use of time today.  Being more intentional in managing your day instead of letting it manage you, should help you get more done and allow you to carve out time for you. How nice to be able to let work go at the end of the day and enjoy spending time with your family.

How can you utilize your time more efficiently?

 

A party of one – being happy by yourself

Do you thrive on being surrounded by people and feeding on their energy, or do you crave time spent alone?

Most of us are with people throughout the day at work, at home, maybe a carpool, school sports or activities if you have kids, then there’s your Facebook community, email, Twitter. There is such richness in community, when you can share ideas, support each other and enjoy just being together.

One of my three words this year has been CONNECT – and I have sought out ways to connect with people, both physically and virtually. But as much as I enjoy and learn from conversations in person and online and being a part of the party, there are times when it becomes overwhelming and I need to retreat.

Interacting is treasured, but I find equal value in solitary pursuits, even if it is just for short blocks of time, snatched here and there.

With our overbooked lives, it may be difficult to find solitude, but it can be a critical tool in helping you cope with the busyness. Whether you get up a little early, find a quiet moment after dinner or before bed, or simply unhook from social media for a block of time, you will benefit from time spent alone to:

• Plan your day – let’s face it, most of the time, our days get away from us, but taking a few minutes at the beginning of the day to plan a few things you need to accomplish helps you be more intentional. Update your task list, calendar or notepad, and keep your two or three main responsibilities front and center to help you stay more focused all day.
• Be creative – whether you write, paint, sew or scrapbook, feeding your inner artist will release energy and clarity that will invigorate you and change your mood. You’ll have to be intentional to find a longer block of time for this, but it will help you enjoy the other parts of your life even more!
• Quiet and center your mind – the chatter of the world can be disorienting and distracting. A short time spent in silence, either in meditation, prayer or just doing nothing can quiet the noise and allow for better concentration and calm. Even just a few deep breaths with eyes closed can do wonders!
• Process your day – take a few minutes at the end of your day to celebrate your accomplishments and be thankful. Writing in a journal is a great way to record your thoughts and unpack your day. When you are journaling for your eyes only, you can contemplate events or feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Amazing ideas and solutions may emerge.

Extended periods of time alone won’t happen often for many of us, but even just 5 or 10 minutes of intentional solitude during your day can lead to more focus and motivation. I challenge you to seek some time to yourself.

And when you do, how will you thrive during your solitary time?

 

Dive in, the water’s fine (or do you make decisions too slowly?)

Photo courtesy of Easylocum (Creative Commons)

When I was on the swim team as a teenager, there were a lot of morning practices when the water was COLD, but we still had to get in and do our laps. There was one girl who would dangle her feet for a while, and then slide in up to her stomach, and then eventually, dip her shoulders in.

I found that instead of trying to get used to it a little at a time, it was best to just dive in and get that shock over with. Then for the rest of the practice, the water felt fine.

I have to admit that in many decisions I face in life, I act like that other girl and test the water by inching in when I should just take the plunge and jump – times when I delay instead of moving ahead.

I am a planner, so I tend to make sure everything is in place before I move on things, and that can mean missed opportunities. Plus, I prolong the discomfort by agonizing over a decision for a long period of time. I am amazed at the sense of relief when I have made a quick decision.

As a leader on your work team or in your family, you owe it to those you lead to be decisive. I have learned a few actions that can help you move your team forward:

• Worry doesn’t work: “dangling” too long causes us to become frozen by the indecision, and that can influence other decisions. We also paralyze our team because they cannot move forward.
• Determine your options: gather “enough” information to have several options. It doesn’t have to be exhaustive since seeking too many options can just be procrastination.
• Consider worst case scenarios: consider the worst that can happen with each option, and also with no decision. Not as bad as you thought, right?
• Make the decision: pick an option and go for it. Even if it’s not ideal, you are moving forward and can adjust from there.

As you get more comfortable with the decision-making process, the timeframe for gathering your options and looking at the worst case will shorten, so your resolution speed will increase.

On an individual level, you will be more productive and less agitated by indecision hanging over you.

On a work or group level, you can get your team involved by asking them to bring you the options for a decision, and asking their input. What a trust building exercise that would be, especially as you teach them what you consider before making a decision.

In what area(s) of your life do you need to dive in and make quicker decisions?

 

Are you misjudging my intentions?

Photo courtesy of Doug Hay (Creative Commons)

It’s so easy to misinterpret others’ actions and intentions.

Unfortunately, we usually read negativity into those intentions, rather than staying positive.

Earlier this summer at about the same time every day, a robin flew to the top of a light pole just outside my porch. He would puff out his chest and look around like he was saying, “hey world, look at me!”

Then he would hop down and find a worm and go back to that light pole – proud and cocky with the worm hanging out of his beak, saying “Look how great I am, I got a big fat worm!”

I imagined that he was showing off for all the other birds.

Then one day, I noticed a baby robin below the light pole, and he (well, maybe she) feeding that worm to the baby. So now, maybe the conversation should have been, “I’m checking to make sure it’s safe before I take this big fat worm to my baby.”

How many times do we wrongly assume things about others’ intentions and cause unnecessary conflict?

Have you thought (or even said), “Sally did that on purpose just to annoy me,” when Sally had no idea you would even be affected by her actions? Or “Joe walked right past without acknowledging me,” when Joe was focused on something else and didn’t see you. Or maybe he didn’t have his glasses on. And yet you reacted angrily.

What if we focus on consistently assuming the best in people and reacting in a positive way?

Victim thinking such as “she hates me so that’s why she did that,” or “he’s a jerk because he did that to me” gets us nowhere. We can confront that person, or react negatively, or we can just let it go and stay above the fray.

How different your world would look if you thought the best of your team. Or your customers or clients. Or your family. It might it have a compounding effect on subsequent reactions to them.

In the case of that robin, I saw arrogance instead of caring. When have I made that same mistake with my team members?

How can you avoid misjudging peoples’ motives? How could that improve your interactions today?

 

My 3-word update for October

Instead of New Year’s resolutions this year, I chose three words to keep me focused during the year based on the recommendation of Chris Brogan, New York Times bestselling author and master blogger.

My words this year are CONNECT, TRAIN, and ENJOY. You can read more about how I chose those words here. Surprisingly, seeing everything through the lens of these words has been much more beneficial than a resolution since all areas of my  life are impacted. And really, how often have you actually accomplished your resolutions? Don’t you spend the year avoiding them and then feeling guilty?

I have knocked CONNECT out of the park! Not only have I connected more with people at work and church, but I am now part of several online communities, one of which has become like a family, praying and caring for each other and even meeting in person despite living in spots all over the country. Surprisingly, all four online communities were made possible through my writing.

On a physical level, I am doing great with TRAIN, doing longer runs more consistently and continuing my yoga practice daily. As far as reading and “training” my mind, I have challenged myself with more books than I can even count lately. Inspiration has come from attending 3 recent conferences for leadership and goal setting. A work goal of conducting more training has not been met with much success, so need to continue working on that front. I am also taking an online blogging class to improve my writing skills.

Now, for the word that is the greatest challenge: ENJOY. Yes, I have “enjoyed” the writing, reading, connecting and training. But I need to continue to seek activities that are purely for enjoyment – like a free afternoon spent with friends or … There is the problem – I don’t even know what else to suggest! Definitely need to work on that.

Now, for next year, I’m already considering what words to choose. In what areas do I need to grow? What skills do I need to practice? It is still early, so this may change, but I’m thinking FOCUS, DELIVER, APPRECIATE – at least for now.

I challenge you now to start thinking – what will your 3 words be for 2013?

 

Is it time for a checkup?

Photo courtesy of Jacob Metcalf (Creative Commons)

I had my yearly physical yesterday, and it made me think of other areas of my life that probably need to have a regular checkup. Yet I neglect those areas because I’m too busy right now, or not in the right frame of mind, or think I have it all figured out already. But do I really?

To be truly happy, you need to balance the different areas of your life. In rereading Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership book, I am reminded of the “wheel of life” that  he describes from Zig Ziglar. “The wheel has spokes that represent each area of our lives, and for our lives to be successful as a whole we must address each area. The spokes of goal setting are: career, financial, spiritual, physical, intellectual, family, social.”

My “wheel of life” tends to not be round, what about yours? I freely admit that I am a workaholic, so my career and intellectual spokes tend to get the bulk of my focus, while I neglect other areas.

I suggest a regular time to do a “checkup,” whether that is yearly, quarterly or even monthly, so you can get back on track before you’ve veered too far off the road. The following steps can help you balance your “wheel of life”:

• Review – schedule a block of uninterrupted time to take a hard look at the last few weeks or months of your tasks and your calendar to see where you have been spending your energy. Just be honest in looking at your appointments and commitments to see what you spend your time on. This is not time to kick yourself for spending your time on the wrong areas, just an assessment of what you have been doing.
• Refocus – consider your “wheel of life” goals (or jot some down if you haven’t done that before). What are your goals in the different areas of your life (career, financial, spiritual, physical, intellectual, family, social)? What do you hope to accomplish or emphasize in each of those areas over the next few weeks and months?
• Realign – is one area of the “wheel of life” getting more attention than the others? There may be seasons when you focus more on a particular area, such as work, but be sure to balance that with the other areas or you risk burnout and frustration. Write down a new goal in each of your life areas for the coming months (writing makes it harder to ignore – just be sure to keep those written goals visible!).
• Renew – make some pledges to yourself (and maybe to your family too) to be more accountable for your new goals. Place your written goals on your desk, in your calendar, or somewhere that you will see them frequently.

By doing a regular goal checkup, you can adjust your priorities and even out your “wheel of life,” which will lead to greater satisfaction in all the areas of your life. Even if there is an area that will continue to need more focus in the next few weeks, be intentional in your goals for the other areas and you won’t lose that balance.

How round is your “wheel of life” and what do you need to do to even it out?