What does this word “NO” mean?

Photo courtesy of Horia Varlan (Creative Commons)

I am not well-acquainted with the word “no.” Anyone else have that problem?

It’s not always a bad thing, because people know they can ask me to do something, and most of the time, I will agree. Being dependable is a good thing, right?

And many times, even if the thing I have said yes to is a stretch, I feel like I’ve grown a bit once I’ve successfully completed the task or activity. Growing is good.

But being constantly busy can have its drawbacks. I write this after several weeks when I have had hardly a moment to myself, and had to schedule my days solid in order to prepare for the commitments I had made.  My recent activities have been exciting, fulfilling, and satisfying – just too many all together! I am exhausted and have had little time for me.

So how can you be more intentional in your busyness? Consider the following steps before saying YES to any new commitment – large or small:

• Pause – instead of an automatic “yes,” respond with “let me consider this and get back to you.” Then go through the rest of these steps.
• Pray – for guidance and knowledge that this new activity or request is part of God’s plan for you
• Plan – look at your calendar and/or your Life Plan and long term goals to make sure this new activity fits and does not conflict with a prior commitment (depending, of course, on the size of the obligation – an afternoon picnic is a little different than joining a new committee).
• Prepare – make sure to build in time for preparation for the obligation, whether that means preparing the food for the picnic or doing the background reading, writing the agenda, etc.
• Protect – “you” time. Michael Hyatt has written about “margin” (read his post here) and his “ideal week” in terms of protecting time spent with family and personal development. Look through the lens of your “ideal week” before committing to new things so that you can protect that margin time. It’s hard to be effective when you are overly tired or distracted by the next thing.

How different would your life be if you followed these steps before saying “yes”? Imagine how effective your meetings would be if you were more prepared. Your children would benefit from your complete focus and not a distracted or rushed parent. You could spend time on your own goals for fitness, health or learning.

How do you say “no” so that you can say “yes” better?

 

It’s Showtime: How I took my store to #4 (Part 5)

At its core, leadership is about inspiring people to do their best. Several years ago, I took over a broken bookstore (near the bottom of rankings in a major chain), and in a little over a year, brought it back to 4^th in the company out of hundreds of stores, based on metrics including sales, customer satisfaction, profitability, etc.

This is Part 5 of a 5-part series (Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4) in which I share leadership basics which can inspire your team to greatness. Even though I am no longer in the bookselling business, these principles are transferable to any leadership situation.

Photo courtesy of ClaraDon (Creative Commons)

Actors are not at the top of their game all the time, but when they are “on stage,” they become their character. We can improve our performance by designating “on stage” and “backstage” areas in our work and life and being sure to “act” any time we are on stage.

On Stage
When we are “on stage” with customers (guests) or co-workers, we are focused on doing what it takes to win with them. We put on the persona of the confident salesperson or the friendly customer service rep. We may not always feel confident, but we project confidence when we are on stage.

Backstage
“Backstage” is a different matter altogether. We can express our doubt, frustration, fatigue, or fear backstage, either alone or with co-workers. We can let off steam and be ourselves, knowing backstage is safe. There were many shifts during the busy Christmas season that I would have to go backstage to clear my head or risk handling a situation wrong because I was tired and cranky!

As a team, we even let each other know if we needed to go “backstage” for a moment after a difficult interaction or long shift. As a leader, I’ve told team members to take it backstage if they need to cool off. Backstage gives you a chance to take a deep breath and collect yourself before putting on your persona and heading on stage again.

It’s Showtime!
Before opening the store each day, we declared, “It’s showtime!” That let everyone know to put on their costume and perform.

The distinction of “on stage” and “backstage” was a key part of our success because it gave the team the confidence to perform all out and know they could go backstage to cool off and rest.

The leadership principles shared in this series are basic, down-to-earth practices that are easy to implement, and one or two of these ideas may lead to moderate wins for your team. What we found, however, was that the combination of a strong team, a high level of communication, and a strong culture was the key that led to extreme success for our team.

The best part was that not only did we excel as a store, but my leaders went on to other opportunities and took this legacy and learning with them to strengthen other teams. It was a win all the way around!

What would change in your workplace if you implemented some of these leadership basics?

 

Steering your course

When I was growing up, my parents always told me I could be/do anything I set my mind to. At the time, I didn’t really understand that. But this morning, I’m seeing that expression in a different way.

I’m realizing the power of intention. I am realizing that by directing my focus to the things that I want, I will be able to make them happen. Instead of drifting along, I can steer my course.

I know that you are probably thinking, “duh, that’s pretty obvious to most of us.” But is it really? How many times does your day/life manage you? How often do you feel stuck in a situation, and feel like you have no choice? How many times have you done things because you’ve always done them and hate to rock the boat?

I know that describes a lot of my life. So what does it take to change that?

What could you accomplish if you write down a goal and the next actions to reach it?

And not just a little goal, what about a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (to borrow from Jim Collins)?

I recently participated in Financial Peace University and EntreLeadership training through Dave Ramsey and his team. His ideas of debt-free living and powerful leadership are attainable but only if you are intentional about putting those habits in place. But how great would life be if you did?

I spent part of my day off yesterday working on “My Ideal Week” spreadsheet, suggested by Michael Hyatt on his blog “How to Create More Margin In Your Life” as well as on my Life Plan, again, thanks to Mr. Hyatt. What a great feeling to craft a schedule in which I control the focus – instead of being led into who knows what. Once I make this planning a habit, there’s no telling how far I can go.

How will you steer your course today?

 

Today’s the Day

I spent three days last week at the most effective leadership training I could imagine. It was the EntreLeadership 3-day live event with Chris LoCurto, based on principles in Dave Ramsey’s bestselling book EntreLeadership. This is intense, effective training for leaders in business and in life. And I’m hoping to unpack some of the information over the next few weeks here in writing.

Life must be intentional. It’s not how old am I, but how many days do I have left and what will I do with those days?

Do you have a life plan? A life goal?

One of the things we talked about early in the training was the importance of dreams, visions and goals. “Life does not hand you your dreams; you have to make them happen. Dreams are essential to winning, but they must come out of the clouds and be more tangible and touchable.” That’s what we heard, along with the fact that you take a dream to a vision, and the vision to goals.

Also, goals will have more impact if they are in each of the 7 areas of the “Wheel of Life” — career, financial, spiritual, physical, intellectual, family, and social.

So be honest, how many of you have goals in each of these areas? And also live your life with these goals in front of you? How much better would life be if we did live with these goals in front of us?

I will admit right now that I don’t. I have goals for my work, but I can’t say that I have a real “life plan.” I have always struggled when someone asks, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I need to change that.

Time spent praying, contemplating and dreaming would be time well spent, I think. Before I can really incorporate any of the other principles we learned, I need to start with being intentional about WHY I want to incorporate them into my life. What is God’s plan for me? Where do I want to be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?

I think my three words are a start – CONNECT, TRAIN, and ENJOY are keeping me grounded in the day to day of life. Now it’s time to figure out where those three words are taking me, and be intentional about going there. Starting today.

What dreams, visions and goals do you have?

 

One Step Ahead

I have a confession to make. Actually two confessions.

I have never considered myself a runner, but in the last 6 months, I’ve been running more often, and more miles, and even having days where I don’t want to stop. And I look forward to running every morning. I think that means I’m becoming a runner.

I also have never considered myself a writer, but as I write documents for work, blogs for work, and this blog, I’m realizing how enjoyable and therapeutic it can be. Guess you know what that means…

But neither of these goals has come quickly. In fact, both are the result of a series of small steps. Baby steps.

It’s not always the giant leaps that get you ahead, but just small, steady forward motion.

Which gets me thinking about what other goals I should be moving forward. Instead of being bogged down with the latest and loudest and ignoring other things, what small next action could I take to make progress on other things?

I think that will be my focus this week – baby steps. Rather than be head down in the most urgent project or task, I will look for opportunities to move ahead on other stalled projects and goals.

What projects or goals could you move ahead with baby steps?

 

Won’t Give In

When I decided to start blogging at the first of the year, I thought this would be a great way to hold myself accountable for my three words, CONNECT, TRAIN, ENJOY, and chronicle my progress through the year. Simple, right?

What I’ve discovered instead, is that this blog is more important than that. Writing has helped me work through some challenges, and keeps me focused in the right direction. It’s very easy to sink into negativity and frustration when things get tough. I feel like I’ve been hanging on by my fingernails lately, and having to force myself to “look at the bright side” instead of falling into a hole.

Amazingly, writing this blog has helped me ask more right questions – instead of “why is this happening to me?” I’m asking “how can I make this situation better?”

I have been reading the book QBQ: The Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller, which has definitely spurred better questions and more personal accountability. I highly recommend this book because it helps diminish the tendency to be defensive and blaming, and promotes a higher sense of teamwork and productivity.

Talking to a dear friend today also boosted my self-confidence, and helped cheer me up. Some friends just know what you need when, right? Love those relationships – that’s when the CONNECT comes into play.

I have had no problem with TRAIN – running every day and adding to my workouts – and working on training for work.

What I struggle with the most is ENJOY. Of my three words, that is the hardest for me to accomplish. But you know what? This week I will work hard so that I “won’t give in” to the negativity, and will do what I can to make my situation better. My goal this week is to seek some ways to ENJOY.

What are you focused on to improve your situation?

 

Whisper on the Tide

CONNECT, TRAIN, ENJOY

When I first read about 3 words from Chris Brogan, it struck a chord inside me. You know how it is, everyone makes resolutions at the first of the year, but then things start to happen and by the end of January, you’ve forgotten them all. Or you’ve broken them, so you figure why bother?

But I can already tell that adhering to my 3 words is a different process, infusing each decision I make with meaning. In just two and a half weeks, I find myself mentally referring to them as I plan my day – and I’m planning my time more effectively.

I am more intentional. I balance my decisions on whether it hits one of the 3 words. For instance, I have returned to my Sunday School class at church after an absence of way too long – and find myself reconnecting with friends I had lost touch with.

I downloaded a workout app for my Blackberry that tracks how far I run and how fast, and I’m better able to track my training. I have also changed the way I schedule my work week, so I can schedule blocks of time to work on training documents and other priorities. Helps productivity!

The other, possibly most important change in my thinking, is that I am letting myself have fun, whether that is listening to music because I enjoy it, or reading for fun, not work. Or going for a walk to soak in some sunshine. I am trying to plan some “fun” in my life. What a concept!

I have a long way to go, but I’m excited that I’m feeling a difference in my life. The Whisper on the Tide will become a shout!

 

Three words for 2012

I am not one to make New Year’s resolutions. I set goals throughout the year, so it doesn’t seem necessary to set one in January, just because it’s January. That being said, I read last year and again today about Chris Brogan’s campaign to designate three words as a focus for your actions during the year.

So this year, I have my 3 words. Drum roll please…

CONNECT, TRAIN, ENJOY

Connect – I want to connect with friends, family, myself and God. Since I tend to dig in and work to the exclusion of all else, I want to be sure to seek out opportunities to rekindle friendships, spend more time with my family, quit neglecting myself, and pursue a deeper relationship with my Lord.

Train – I consider training the same as learning – a pursuit that will broaden and enrich me. I want to train myself physically by continuing to increase my daily run and adding more weight training and yoga. Mental training is important, so I will seek more seminars, webinars and books that will increase my knowledge and leadership skills. I also want to focus on training others, so one of my goals for work will be to develop and execute training for several areas of GraceWorks.

Enjoy – As stated earlier, I have workaholic tendencies that have been front and center in the last few months. That needs to change. Life is short, and I want to focus on doing an excellent job at work, but to structure my days and weeks so that I enjoy what I’m doing at work, and then let go and enjoy life away from work.

So I plan to write periodically (weekly?) about my progress, and hopefully provide some accountability. So here goes with a new adventure. Happy 2012!