Bridging the gap between your reality and your dream

Most of us have dreams, whether it’s something lofty or down-to-earth. And much of the time, our reality is far different from that dream.

But there may be some ways that you can bridge that gap and bring at least a touch of your dream into your world now.

As we’ve talked about setting goals in the Ready, Aim series (click here for Part 1 and Part 2), it’s important to build at least one or two goals related to your dreams.

But I guess the first question to ask is, “you have identified your dreams, haven’t you?”

I think for many of us, the reality of family, work, financial and other obligations tends to obscure our dreams or cause them to fade. We may not allow ourselves to even consider them since there are so many other urgent issues vying for our attention. It feels selfish and we tend to put our dreams in the trunk while we travel along the road of the everyday.

But what if you allowed yourself to dream just a little? Would that make a difference in your quality of life?

My friend Lily Kreitinger wrote last week about “Do You Want To Be You?” in which she asks an important question of whether she should listen to her “self-talk” which tells her to focus on her duties as wife, mom and employee and suppress those things that give her joy, like blogging, teaching, or making jewelry. But she wouldn’t be happy ignoring those things that are her dreams. Would you?

I think there’s a way to bridge that gap between the things that we HAVE to do and the things that make us SOAR. If we don’t, we lose a piece of ourselves, and we are less invested in the things that we must do.

By indulging our dream even just a little bit, it makes us more valuable to the people we love and impact every day.

For me, I have discovered that writing is my passion, so I have started getting up a little earlier in the morning to allow myself time to write every day. Makes it much easier to face the challenges of the day when I have allowed myself a little time for me.

The trick is in finding the balance. Here are some steps to take to get you started:

• Identify your dream – for some of us, we are so outwardly focused on others that we’ve lost touch with what our dreams are. Spend some time with yourself, either journaling, meditating, mind mapping or just quietly thinking about the thing or things that truly light your fire. It might be writing, painting, scrapbooking, making jewelry, singing, speaking publicly, or any number of things. Pinpoint what it is and accept that. Proclaim to yourself your new identity.
• Share it with your family or close friends. Let those who are closest to you know that this is your passion and what makes you happy. Ask them to support you in exploring your dream.
• Find a way to indulge your dream at least every once in a while. Maybe look at your schedule and set aside a couple of hours on a weekend or evening to spend time alone pursuing your dream activity. Get up a little bit early a couple days a week. Carve out a little time for yourself.
• Don’t feel guilty. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. You will be more content and less distracted if you have allowed yourself a little time.

While you may not be able to pursue your dream full-time, by allowing yourself even an hour or two each week or a couple of times a month, you are nurturing  an important part of yourself. You’ll become happier and more satisfied and your family and those close to you will see a change. It’s a win-win situation!

What is your dream, and how can you take a step toward it?

 

The enemies of discipline

Photo courtesy of SuperFantastic (Creative Commons)

Procrastination. Resistance. Laziness.

These are the adversaries I fight against almost every morning. I get up early, grab my coffee, and sit down at my computer to write. I assure myself that I have discipline because I’m up early. Don’t you agree?

But then Resistance rears his ugly head by getting me distracted from writing. The inbox is full, so I go through it to reduce the distraction, but not completely, debate on paying some bills, go through old mail. Basically, I start and stop a bunch of things, none of which is urgent and none of which involves writing.

Ok, back to writing. I open my browser, since I might need to look something up online, I’m tempted to check Facebook, just for a minute. You do it too, don’t you?  Ten minutes later, I shake off that feeling of lethargy and refocus on my document. After all, I’m disciplined and ready to write.

I hear a little voice wondering if any urgent emails came in during the night – oh, right, I need to just make sure. So I launch Outlook and take a peek. Then I get a refill on my coffee.

There has been plenty written on discipline and combating procrastination and what author Steven Pressfield calls “Resistance” (with a capital “R”) in his books The War of Art and Turning Pro. Unfortunately, there is not a long-term fix, as each day brings a new battle.

Writing is work, and I can’t wait on some fluffy perfect stimulus or flash of insight. Writing is hard work, plain and simple. There are cues and habits I can develop, but it all boils down to the fact that I have to show up and do it. Every day. No exceptions.

And whether you work at writing or another kind of project, I have found a few tricks that help me stay focused:

• Set a goal – whether that is to write a certain number of words or to complete a specific portion of a project.
• Remove distractions – you’ve heard this before, but turn off email notifications, disable your Twitter or Facebook alerts, and close the door.
• Don’t kick yourself – if you do get sidetracked, don’t berate yourself. Just refocus and try again.
• Do it again – once you have hunkered down and accomplished your goal, set another goal and keep moving forward (of course, maybe celebrate a little bit first…)

How do you combat these “enemies” of productivity?

 

Stretch your boundaries and leap out of your comfort zones

What have you done lately that helped you grow? Have you challenged yourself to do something outside your usual skill level?

I always admired people who were fearless, and constantly dared to try new things to follow their dreams. I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed because I have been timid, reserved and stayed within my comfortable boundaries.

But that is changing now. Lately, I have been intentional about doing things that might be scary at first, but that help me improve, both physically and mentally. And may I say, the payoff has been incredible?

I have added longer runs that push my physical limits but are so exhilarating. In the process, I have lost weight and feel better about myself.

By commenting more on other blogs, I have discovered an online community that teaches new leadership and life skills every day.

Starting this blog was a giant step that has helped me rediscover my dream of writing.

In pursuing that dream, the most crucial step I’ve taken is to sign up for the Blog Topics Master Class with Chris Brogan. After only a few weeks, I’m learning about creating good habits and disciplines for writing, finding my voice, writing better headlines, and being more deliberate in choosing my topics.

Through a private Facebook group, those of us taking the class encourage each other and give feedback. That community of students adds another level of learning in addition to the material from Chris. The exercises, advice and community are invaluable!

Honestly, I never thought I’d be doing homework again, and getting so much out of it. And like with the running, I have gained more confidence and feel better about myself.

 

How do you improve?

How do you improve?

First, it takes a commitment to improve. A decision that you want to get better and are willing to invest the time and energy necessary for the process.

For instance, if you want to become a stronger athlete, you have to train for hours on a regular schedule, adopt a healthy diet, get the right amount of rest.

A musician must practice extensively to become better, spend time doing scales and basic chords before he can begin to create melodies of his own.

And a writer? Stephen King tells us in his book On Writing, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

He goes on to say, “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”

So I’m reading like crazy – books on the mechanics of writing, fiction, nonfiction – you name it, I’m reading it. And I’m writing every morning – getting up early to allow at least 30-45 minutes of writing time.

One other thing I am doing to become better is to learn from a great writer. I have signed up for a 16-week course called Blog Topics: Master Class with Chris Brogan, which will take my writing skills soaring to new levels. Chris is a New York Times bestselling author and one of the top 5 bloggers in the Advertising Age Power 150.

Weekly lessons, practice exercises, video instruction and interviews with writing experts enrich the learning. There’s even homework that you are held accountable for, so you get hands on experience with the techniques and ideas you are studying.

Plus, Chris is available by email to answer questions and give critiques. How can you not become a better writer?

So that’s what I’m doing to improve – who wants to join me?

 

I am a writer!

There. I have said it. I AM A WRITER.

I am participating in the 15 Habits of Great Writers challenge at goinswriter.com and feel proud and relieved at my declaration for Day 1. I am a writer. I AM a writer. I am a WRITER.

When I graduated from college, my goal was to be a writer – a journalist, actually. But I got sidetracked doing other things, and lost sight of my goal. After awhile, I just decided that must not have been what I was meant to do.

But this year, I have been writing, and you know what? I enjoy it. In fact, I look forward to it. And I truly get excited when someone says they have read my work. And over the moon if it has somehow impacted someone.

It is scary to put myself out there, but also so satisfying when something  I have written touches someone else.

I don’t know where this will lead, but I look forward to finding my voice and becoming comfortable in the idea that yes, I am a writer.

What can you declare today?