What does this word “NO” mean?

Photo courtesy of Horia Varlan (Creative Commons)

I am not well-acquainted with the word “no.” Anyone else have that problem?

It’s not always a bad thing, because people know they can ask me to do something, and most of the time, I will agree. Being dependable is a good thing, right?

And many times, even if the thing I have said yes to is a stretch, I feel like I’ve grown a bit once I’ve successfully completed the task or activity. Growing is good.

But being constantly busy can have its drawbacks. I write this after several weeks when I have had hardly a moment to myself, and had to schedule my days solid in order to prepare for the commitments I had made.  My recent activities have been exciting, fulfilling, and satisfying – just too many all together! I am exhausted and have had little time for me.

So how can you be more intentional in your busyness? Consider the following steps before saying YES to any new commitment – large or small:

• Pause – instead of an automatic “yes,” respond with “let me consider this and get back to you.” Then go through the rest of these steps.
• Pray – for guidance and knowledge that this new activity or request is part of God’s plan for you
• Plan – look at your calendar and/or your Life Plan and long term goals to make sure this new activity fits and does not conflict with a prior commitment (depending, of course, on the size of the obligation – an afternoon picnic is a little different than joining a new committee).
• Prepare – make sure to build in time for preparation for the obligation, whether that means preparing the food for the picnic or doing the background reading, writing the agenda, etc.
• Protect – “you” time. Michael Hyatt has written about “margin” (read his post here) and his “ideal week” in terms of protecting time spent with family and personal development. Look through the lens of your “ideal week” before committing to new things so that you can protect that margin time. It’s hard to be effective when you are overly tired or distracted by the next thing.

How different would your life be if you followed these steps before saying “yes”? Imagine how effective your meetings would be if you were more prepared. Your children would benefit from your complete focus and not a distracted or rushed parent. You could spend time on your own goals for fitness, health or learning.

How do you say “no” so that you can say “yes” better?

 

Steering your course

When I was growing up, my parents always told me I could be/do anything I set my mind to. At the time, I didn’t really understand that. But this morning, I’m seeing that expression in a different way.

I’m realizing the power of intention. I am realizing that by directing my focus to the things that I want, I will be able to make them happen. Instead of drifting along, I can steer my course.

I know that you are probably thinking, “duh, that’s pretty obvious to most of us.” But is it really? How many times does your day/life manage you? How often do you feel stuck in a situation, and feel like you have no choice? How many times have you done things because you’ve always done them and hate to rock the boat?

I know that describes a lot of my life. So what does it take to change that?

What could you accomplish if you write down a goal and the next actions to reach it?

And not just a little goal, what about a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (to borrow from Jim Collins)?

I recently participated in Financial Peace University and EntreLeadership training through Dave Ramsey and his team. His ideas of debt-free living and powerful leadership are attainable but only if you are intentional about putting those habits in place. But how great would life be if you did?

I spent part of my day off yesterday working on “My Ideal Week” spreadsheet, suggested by Michael Hyatt on his blog “How to Create More Margin In Your Life” as well as on my Life Plan, again, thanks to Mr. Hyatt. What a great feeling to craft a schedule in which I control the focus – instead of being led into who knows what. Once I make this planning a habit, there’s no telling how far I can go.

How will you steer your course today?